4/27/2012 12:49:00 PM

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Boehner to launch $1.6M investigation into Michelle Obama's $470K European vacation



Haven't had time to do one of these in awhile.  Feels good.  And, HA!

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7/26/2011 01:12:00 PM

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Most of Rush Limbaugh's Bed Trapped Under a Massive Heat Dome

Meteorologists are puzzled by the vast amounts of warmth and moisture becoming trapped under a massive heat dome that seems to appear daily on conservative pundit Rush Limbaugh's bed.

5/02/2011 08:28:00 PM

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Trump: "I done a great, great thing."




"I am so stoked that I was able to accomplish something big that nobody else has been able to accomplish," quipped the Donald. (. . . ) "by relieving him of his duties to locate his long-form birth certificate, I have enabled the president to do great, great things."

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4/17/2011 08:19:00 AM

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Bachmann Seeks Own Circumcision Certificate

(Washington, DC) Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (MN-06) is all about transparency, she tells FOX. "I love Windex, sandwich bags, and ghosts, for example," adding, "and sunshine is the best expectorant!"

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4/30/2010 01:05:00 PM

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4/26/2010 03:46:00 AM

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Countdown to the inevitable: FOX "News" fans universally embarrassed

Bill O'Reilly is clearly retarded.  No way he'd have knowingly set himself up for such an obvious debunking.

Thank you, Media Matters (though, yes, HuffPost polluted it with their logo):


 



 


 


Over time FAUX News' laughability increases.  This is a universal constant.  Most of us will be around when this "news" network is something every fan of which is embarrassed to admit liking.  That day is not very far off.


11/22/2009 10:59:00 AM

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RedPussyState.org would rather report on its own incompetence than acknowledge the GOP just got kicked in the balls.

Hey hey hey - 60 votes!

The whole world just witnessed Harry Reid's winning dice roll.  The Senate has moved past the dreaded filibuster on the health care reform act debate, and now Congress is scheduling numerous, numerous pissing contests for the next year.  You know, to decide which "shoulds" shall be "shalls," and which "shalls" should be "shoulds."

Even FOX "news" is reporting it.  Really!

But Red- "ow my balls" -State.org... well, they've just got more important news to report:

By the way, dipshits, 'standby' is a noun. The verb is 'stand' and its adverb 'by.'
Oh, yes it is.




Incidentally, RedPussy, 'standby' is a noun.  As in "the crew is on standby."  If you're telling someone to stand by, it'd be two words.  Dipshits.

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11/11/2009 10:54:00 AM

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Marines: forever making educated Americans cringe

Not a keen mind in this one
Semper Puerilis.


Allow me to drop my liberal mindset, assume the Devil's Advocate role, and engage in some stereotyping for a moment:


Marines are the very reason our military has such a tough time overseas. Nations tolerating our presence in their sovereign lands, and the jar heads are raping preteen girls, mooning local politicians, sucker-punching waiters, flipping off royalty, and hitting CHRISTIAN PRIESTS OVER THE HEAD WITH TIRE IRONS.


Oh sure, that last one happened in our country. I'm sure that's a comfort to the Greek Orthodox church.


And I realize it's not just the marines doing these idiotic things to foreigners. But many do not, and the USMC will now have to deal with an already diminishing collective self-esteem in light of most people's impressions of Privates Pyle, Joker and Cowboy.


Why would the USMC be experiencing self-esteem issues?


For years many have rationalized this behavior by saying the best recipe for ground combat elites consists of a heaping tablespoon of psychosis (the remainder being an ounce of stupidity, teaspoon of ignorance, and a sprinkling of abnormal brain chemistry). Actually, this old formula has never been the best, but the cheapest, route to disposable heroes.


And it might have worked when we faced enemies who didn't want to die. But this terrorism shit has changed the stakes. As tragic as it might be, the ultimate sacrifice by a G.I. pales in comparison to the enemy who intentionally blows himself up in the name of "victory."


With Blackwater and other contractors, joint Special Forces, and an Army doing most of the heavy lifting in Afghanistan and Iraq, the USMC is an increasingly immaterial element of the DoD. What they don't need right now is some goon reinforcing their negative stereotypes.


In fact, the USMC should really be able to relate to Muslims right about now.

11/07/2009 11:31:00 PM

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Ignore the idiotic sign - there's a black man at a tea bagger rally!

You'd be hard-pressed to find a more right-wing American city than Abilene, Texas. Trust me on this one --- I grew up in Pensacola; my hickometer is finely calibrated. The years I lived in Abilene made my hometown seem like Boston or San Francisco.

So, the recent teabaggery in Abilene comes as no surprise. But I can't not point out the irony of the tea party protest's top billing: William Owens, Jr.

Owens spoke to the crown of dozens, probably even selling a book or two in the process. Oh, did I mentioned he's an African-American? Why, yes - he's a black man. Who happens to hold the position Barack Obama is not black enough.


A little misspellery is fine when there's a colored in the shot
Spelling error? Forget that - dontcha see the colored guy talking?


So, the "Big Country" tea bag aficionadi gushed all over some guy who dislikes Obama, simply because he's a black man. Never mind the fact he wants Obama to be more like Malcom X than Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. What mattered here is a colored fella showed up at a republican rally.

Yeeeeeeeee haw!

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11/07/2009 01:10:00 AM

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Countdown to Rump Leakage blaming it on the liberals in one... two... three

He does it every time.

The king of projection, Rump Leakage, will blame the mass murder of 13 on Fort Hood, TX on some rambling theory of liberal psychology -meets- moral relativism -meets- Clinton enbabled some program to allow all evil Muslims to join the armed forces -meets- President Obama is personally responsible for all that is bad.

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10/24/2009 07:18:00 PM

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FOX News, if Obama nabs Osama


We're getting closer to capturing bin Laden than Bush-monkey ever did. This America-backed blitz along the Afghanistan/Pakistan border is something that should have happened long ago.


This has happened less than an hour south of Chitral, by most reliable accounts (for what that's worth) the town where Osama bin Laden currently resides.


So, imagine if, by December, we capture OBL! Would that not be the best Xmas present ever? And, the proverbial cherry on top? Watching all the exploding heads at FOX News!















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10/17/2009 10:16:00 PM

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Poppy Bush, please have your wife bemoan Olbermann & Maddow

He's doing it again! Poppy Bush is decrying a bit of popular American TV culture just as it's on the rise. Quite unsolicitedly, he recently called Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow "sick puppies," blaming them for creating the sort of shit-smearing polemics he, himself, created over 20 years ago (with the help of one, rotund Roger Ailes).

But don't get me wrong. Do not fret o three that read here (two? one?). Bush's criticism of a thing is good for that there thing. The verbal missiles he launched at Matt Groening's The Simpsons in the early 90s helped boost that show enormously (especially once Groening brilliantly embraced the criticism, as you'll see below).

Now, all we need is for Mrs. (sic) Bush to do what she (sic) did in 1990. Remember? To her (sic)hubby's critique, she (sic) added, "The Simpsons are absolutely the dumbest thing I've ever seen" (obviously old ironsides had forgotten about the oldest Bush baby).

So... it's very simple. Keep your fingers crossed: if Barbed Wire Bush publicly criticizes Olbermann and Maddow... FOX News can kiss its "we're number one!" mantra good-bye.

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10/14/2009 08:39:00 PM

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The Mega Ditto Ego Has Landed

When, upon learning Barack Obama had failed to garner his hometown the 2016 Olympics, Rump Leakage cheerily gloated, "the ego has landed!"

Some laughed along with the drug addled gas bag; some simply saw it as another assholish act from an asshole; some of us recognized it as more projection from the king of projection.

Yet another brilliant idea turned to shit during execution
Ain't I a goddamned genius?

Contrary to how most NFL members apparently feel about the matter, I'd like to see Rush Limbaugh as owner of the Cleveland Los Angeles St. Louis Rams. My brilliant cartoon notwithstanding, denying Limbaugh the chance to (partially) own an NFL franchise is denying the rest of us another chance at watching him fail.

Seriously, think about it: aside from rabble-rousing narrow minds like his own, the man is incompetent.

Failed as a 'normal' (not political) radio D.J.

Failed on late-night television.

Failed on ESPN.

Failed as a husband. Thrice (so far).

Failed to resist drug addiction.

Failed to get either of his 'pet' publicans nominated in 2008.

In fact, he's slooooowly failing the conservative movement. It's like he and the GOP are having the world's longest fuck, only he has AIDS, and the publicans ripped off the condom long ago.

(nice, huh?)

Since becoming the mouthpiece for the GOP, Pigboy's political peers have voted into office a disaster of such magnitude that he nearly became the first wartime president to lose his bid for reelection. In 2004 Bush scored the narrowest reelection victory ever by a U.S. president, and his successor lost to a black man with a Muslim name.

(and if you blame 2008 on Bush's incompetence, remember he'd never have gotten there in the first place were it not for Limbaugh's giant microphone)

The 'publicans don't seem to recognize the megalomaniac's deleterious effect on the GOP. Maybe the NFL will be equally obtuse. If so, we can enjoy watching the asshole fail again.

Hey, I'm a Saints fan. The Rams aren't going to be in last place forever.

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10/10/2009 11:48:00 PM

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Alan Grayson for Supreme Ruler of the Universe Forever

You'll forgive my tardiness here, as I'm currently in 대한민국.

(And they just blocked citizens'/residents' ability to FTP to Yahoo?)

But this man has more balls than the rest of the (D) legislative branch, combined. If Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid acted one fifth as gutsy as this man, the GoP would be out of business.

Cheers to crooksandliars and moxnews for making this reachable in this corner of the world.



I've had this video on loop for half an hour now.

Hal-le-fuckin-lujah

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10/09/2009 10:07:00 PM

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Yet another Democrat wins prize republicans pretend to have been nominated for,

except when they're pretending to detest it

Reality: Barack Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize.

FOX News? Yet another stinkin' Democrat has won the Nobel Peace Prize.

You know, the prize republicans love to pretend they've been nominated to win. Except when they're pretending to detest it so mightily.

Case in point: Mark "the slight one" Levin, who regularly lends hannity a third brain cell, "nominated" Rump Leakage for the Nobel Peace Prize via some outfit called Landmark or some such insipid milquetoast crap.

Levin half-assed a memo with the Landmark nom attached, and submitted to . . . who knows? The deed was done - Limbaugh had been nominated by another human for the Peace Prize. Freepers, dittoheads, and other short-bus regulars were ecstatic.

Unfortunately for the rarely informed right, the act of one person associating "I herewith nominate Rush Limbaugh for the Nobel Peace Prize..." with a nifty-sounding organizational's namesake no more constitutes an de jure NPP nomination than writing the same memo on a roll of toilet paper.

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