11/24/2008 06:36:00 AM

(3) Comments

From the patting my own back department...

Eighth Anniversary Blowout

Charlat An recommends you visit my "best of" pages.



Hard to believe it's been eight years since I started this page. Even harder to believe --I once cranked out respectable portions of actual satire.



SO, since I'm getting very short (about to deploy for 12 months), and may not be able to touch this site for awhile, I'll link to some of this site's past highlights...



ENJOY.



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11/22/2008 08:38:00 AM

(8) Comments

From the I bet you didn't know I work for the Pentagon department

- FOX Leaks Classified Info -
AGENT.BTZ Was Classified...



Driving home from work today, scrolling through the (mostly conservative) poli-talk available from the satellite feed, and FOX News tells me a nasty bit of malware called Agent BTZ is currently infecting DoD computer systems. Not your typical spyware, this thing got past the firewall, and it seems the experts are baffled at it.

I knew the story's details already, but here's the thing: when I heard this, I nearly ran off the road - because IT'S CLASSIFIED INFORMATION. That is, it was classified information.

Until FOX News reported it.

Afer unwinding this afternoon, I ran an internet news search. Not surprisingly, dozens of news outlets have reported the gory details of Agent.BTZ for all the world to read.

Thanks Fucks news. Why do you guys hate America?

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11/15/2008 08:13:00 AM

(0) Comments

What liberal media?

- There They Go Again -


Funny how the "liberal" media only get the facts wrong when they echo Shemp Hannity talking points.

Just who is this clown Lee Cowan, and how is it his "investigative journalism" passes for anything but sloppy guesswork, or sheer laziness? This story had been debunked days before Cowan reported it here, by Norm Coleman's own lawyers.

I made the wrong career choice. Apparently "investigative" journalists don't really have to do anything but read from weeks-old cue cards.

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11/13/2008 09:05:00 AM

(1) Comments

Rush: doomed to obscurity

unless he gets even crazier now

Limbaugh in Denial Over Loss of Relevance
- His recent "assertions" betray desperation, recognition of impending extinction -

Limbaugh in a downward spiral. In response to Rump Leakage 's recent blathering (specifically, his claim that the failing economy is Obama's fault), many will rightfully point out that it doesn't matter today nearly as much as it did two weeks ago what Limbaugh says (I refrain from using 'think,' as not even a drug addled gasbag would believe such a stupid assertion). But an analysis into this reaction by the left wing shows us it's more than a swipe at the ass-boil-having simpleton. It's more than a quick & easy dismissal of Limbaugh; his irrelevance is, in fact, the very reason he's acting dumber than usual.

Limbaugh & his lemmings are a cancer on the GOP. They are single-handedly responsible for bringing the GOP to the point of ridicule we on the left currently relish. Now that the GOP has had its proverbial ass handed to it, more and more on the right are recognizing this. Thus, Limbaugh's sudden self-awareness.

Rump and the rest of the micropenis wing of the GOP were run out of town early during the primary season. The addition of Palin - a move obviously made to appeal to Limbaugh et al - was immediately recognized by the sensible right (Peggy Noonan, George Will, etc.) as a huge blunder. The filth the GOP had rid itself of had returned to the ticket, and even Noonan was caught on tape saying, "It's over."

As an individual, Rush Limbaugh is suddenly the albatross around the GOP's neck.

As a movement, Limbaugh-style radio is a pterodactyl (read: extinct bird) around the party's neck.

Enjoy your plunge into obscurity, Comedian Rush Limbaugh!!!

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11/10/2008 02:20:00 AM

(0) Comments

-Have Fun in IrrelevanceLand-
Limbaugh, Hannity, McLaughlin and SNL: Rendered irrelevant by election.


John McLaughlin, Rush Limbaugh, Lorne Michaels, Darrell Hammond and Shemp Hannity - all stuck in the past.

Everyone’s talking about Karl Rove and Mitch McConnell being pushed into obscurity; being the “biggest losers” of this obvious pro-Obama mandate. But there are others facing irrelevance. And someone has to break the news to them. So here goes:

Dear Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, et al,

Haven’t you realized you are the primary reason your party is now a regional party at best?

Blame Palin all you want; the facts state otherwise. When your two least favorite candidates became the GOP’s two final candidates for Republican nominee (Limbaugh et al hate John McCain and Mike Huckabee), did you actually fail to recognize most Republicans disagree with your viewpoints?

Dear The McLaughlin Group,

Your pre-taped discussions are a toaster-oven in today’s microwave world.

During the final weeks of the Hillary Clinton/Barack Obama contest, you were so out of sync with the streaming news cycle it was pitiful. This morning – just a few minutes ago – your synopsis of Obama’s victory was off my 1.5 million votes (McLaughlin actually posted the words "64 million"; those of us with a pulse know that figure passed 65 million over 24 hours ago, and will probably pass 66 million before it's all over), and fifteen electoral votes. Did you record your program so long ago NORTH CAROLINA WAS NOT YET KNOWN? Holy LAZINESS, Batman!

But your pundits are dinosaurs as well, and obviously equally unfit for the changing times. I got more accurate predictions from websites and up-to-date commercial cable networks – even FOX News -- than I did from your early 20th century personalities.

The weekend before the election your liberal “experts” predicted the election would be “close,” and that bimbo Monica Crowley actually predicted McCain would win by half a percentage point!

Dear Saturday Night Live,

You can thank one person for your recent surge in viewership: Tina Fey. But the election’s over, Fey’s back at her regular job, and we’re all rightfully expecting you to again become the unfunny, irrelevant crap you've been for several years now.

You know, Mad TV without all the editing.

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11/05/2008 12:19:00 PM

(1) Comments

YEAH,

BABY!

11/03/2008 11:37:00 AM

(0) Comments

Say what you will about Ben Affleck; he's no Dana Carvey.

- It's the opposite of satire -




For all the admirable traits one might possess, there are those to which he or she will never come close. In the case of Ben Affleck, comedic dexterity is one such untenable trait.

Ben Affleck's over-the-top Olbermann routine on SNL last night was funny at first, but quickly unraveled into some desperate, over-the-top, Monster Truck-like screechfest. I initially thought he was trying to lay down some decent satire; he started off rather subdued. But as the skit progressed I saw it becoming more and more absurd, and finally I realized I was witnessing a popping of the imitation-inflation bubble that Dana Carvey and others so effectively flirt with, but never burst.

Consider the impressionist: the comedian whose imitation finds a broad line between reality and exaggeration, and pushes its edges. Dana Carvey, an SNL cast member from fifteen years back, was a master at it. In his "McLaughlin Group" spoofs, he would amplify his impersonation of the grumpy PBS host, John McLaughlin, right up to the point of oversaturation, and then pull it back just a bit. "WRONG!" he'd belt at (the portrayers of) Jack Germond or Eleanor Clift, and then roll into an exaggerated description of the range of his next question's "1 to 10" scale. Most of Carvey's character imitations pushed beyond subtlety, but as he himself once pointed out his were not simply impersonations, but impressions. Exaggeration is part of the formula.

Contrast this with the satirist's domain. His is a much tougher balancing act (I never quite got it down; see this page or this other one for a couple examples of my satirist days), and usually only effectively done by the true masters. Effective satire fools many audience members -- think This is Spinal Tap, a movie whose theater success was smothered by the fact many thought it was a real documentary about a rock band they'd never heard of. Not exactly the place for satire, you won't see it too often coming from SNL.

And, in terms of comedic delivery, Affleck was all over the map. Like a blind man trying to land a C-5 on an aircraft carrier.

As the sketch passed its halfway point, Affleck jumped overboard, head first, flailing and twitching and emoting to a point that apparently made a lot of the audience uncomfortable -- there's plenty of heavy laughing, but notably only by a fraction of the audience.

Overdoing exaggeration in character impressionism is like cooking up a great pot of chili, but then adding waaaay too much salt. There's really nothing you can do once you've exceeded a recipe's maximum allowable salinity level.

Obviously the sort of right winger who regularly watches fake wrestling and bass fishing TV shows will have found the impression hilarious, but I have to wonder why SNL has never done such a warped exaggeration of Bill Orally, Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity. Is Olbermann really considered that far out, whereas O'Reilly, Rump Leakage, and Hannity are not? If so, why is Olbermann outrating Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity these days? Why hasn't Limbaugh ever had a successful TV show (remember, Limbaugh has miserably failed in his attempts to attract a TV audience)?

In reality it was just another oversaturated impression by someone ill-equipped to try this sort of thing. Ben Affleck is not exactly the sharpest comedic knife in the drawer.

Olbermann thinks the routine was hilarious (or, at least, he says so) -- maybe he's doing a Sarah Palin and pretending the skewering didn't offend him. The most likely scenario has Olbermann a bit offended by the routine, though smart enough to realize the value of a good roasting. As we all know, regardless how devastating it was, the skit has elevated Olbermann to the status of someone imitated on SNL -- an acknowledgment of his cultural importance.

Watch out, Chris Matthews, there's a new Sheriff in MSNBC-ville.

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11/01/2008 11:53:00 AM

(2) Comments

- Olbermann's Halloween Worst -

Domestic Terrorist G Gordon Liddy only second ?



Not sure what's better - watching O'Reilly melt down, or watching Olbermann tear him a new asshole every night.

BTW - if you haven't already done so - get your ass out there and VOTE ALREADY.