Like most deployed G.I.'s, I get tons of "care packages," letters, and cards from family and friends. But this time around I'm also getting some goodies from my fans. You guys have been sending me all the news I can't access on these #$^@ DOD-run computers, and I'm lovin' every minute of it. Keep 'em comin'!

"Y'ain't got no shoulders!"

If that phrase doesn't mean much to you, and

you're a military guy, I'd have to question your

manhood. Just fuckin' with you, sailor. Chillax.

I see Billow LIEly is at it again. What a delusional clown that little man is, and Faux News is all about re-writing history in another attempt to salvage the "man"'s already dubious credibility. LOL!

And the administration is planning to introduce anti-gay marriage legislation this Monday. Glad to see we've all got our priorities straight. Thank Koresh, because I really think I could lose my wife if homosexuals started marryin' up and all.

Speaking of developing homophobia-related stories, if one of you really wanted to get on my good side, you could send me the last four episodes of The Sopranos. I'm dying to see more of the Vito/Johnny Cakes saga unfold.

Another reader sent me a link to what I assume is a video parody of Katherine Harris election ad. Can't open it, but the guy told me it's goddammed hilarious, so if you're interested, here it is.

I've been toying with the idea of starting a progressive/liberal military blogring. Probably one already exists, but if not I'm all about that. There are lots more of us than you might expect, and when carefully prepared these diaries are just as legal as those from Captain Micropenis, Mr. Badass Soldier, Mountainous Marine Man, and whatever else gay-ass names these penis-envy suffering hardcore rightwingers call themselves.

Is Uncle Sam reading my blog?

You bet your ass they are. Bring it on, I say. Pssht.

Well ma'ams and sirs, I must oil my weapon (hee) and sock my boots (keeps out the camel spiders). Talk at you later.

....