11/18/2006 08:18:00 AM
Step One: Ditch the conservative formula.
Step two: Give us something to think about.
As you know, Air America Radio has filed for bankruptcy. And now it seems Al Franken is planning on leaving Air America Radio. Is progressive radio falling flat? And if so, why?
I have a good idea why.
We lefties aren't content hearing someone tell us something we already know. Especially if the people telling us what we already know are making no attempt to add humor/insight/creativity into the mix.
Consider the following radio hosts:
Rhodes. Seder. Garofalo.
Limbaugh. Hannity. O'Reilly.
What do all these radio talk show personalities have in common? Easy - you already know they're going to say before they say it.
How do the first three differ from the second three? Again, the answer is easy: ratings.
In order to entertain a liberal, you've got to be creative. Not so for the right-wing moonbats. Give 'em Sean Hannity. No intellectual stimulation required.
One of the biggest reasons right wing radio has flourished over the past decade is because it is so easy to do. Put a guy on a mic, have him tell his audience what they want to hear. Stick it on a cheap (read, a.m.) radio station. Comfort food for the soul.
It doesn't take a great deal of money or creativity to occupy the conservative mind:
- World Wrestling Federation.
- A two-millennium-old story about a dude's wife turning into a pillar of salt.
- Bass fishing.
But we lefties don't get the same kick out of mindless predictability. Teach me something. Show me a new way of looking at cartoons. Or anthropology. Or hell, just make me laugh.
In fact, the best formula for success in the world of left-leaning political discourse -- at least in recent years -- has been humor. Stewart and Colbert on TV; Stephanie Miller on the radio, for example.
This is not to say we're not a serious bunch. But humor can be a vehicle for more serious material. Consider Mark Twain. Rent Chaplin's The Great Dictator. Or just watch Keith Olbermann for a while.
When he was on, Al Franken could be pretty damn funny himself. And original. But he was fairly temperamental, and too often his show would get predictable. And boring. Not Hannity boring, mind you, but definitely not the type of thing I'd prefer over Radiohead, or an unedited Boondocks episode.
I couldn't tell you the first thing about running a radio station. But I knows what I likes. And hearing someone tell me what I already know, or preach to me what I already believe, gets old. Fast.
I'm no conservative. Give me something to think about.
..!..
Believe it or not, AFN (the DoD's radio network) airs Ed Schultz daily, right before Limbaugh's show. I got to hear good ol' boy Ed a few times when I was deployed this summer.
11/09/2006 04:40:00 PM
I should've kept better track of some of the insane shit neocons had been blogging up until last night -- some of their predictions about the election are now hilarious. Yes, hindsight is 20/20, but it's not so much their predictions providing the humor as it is the overly confident manner in which they made them.
There's a negative correlation between introspection and personal resolve. The less you're able to objectively examine yourself, the more likely you are to misinterpret, or underestimate, your weaknesses. Progressives tend to be more introspective; neocons resolute. And a steadfast resolve looks great in a victor's past, but it can be a laughing stock when coupled with bravado and then examined in light of such a political upset.
And so, now that the obnoxiously vociferous right has been crushed, it's time for a laugh or two:
My favorite, from a week ago, came from the "mind" (sic) of Icythus, as posted on redstate.com.
Quote:
"Stick A Fork In Jim Webb
(Religion/mythology-fueled, nonsensical diatribe about
conveniently-out-of-context excerpts from some of Webb's decades-old works of
fiction, the existence of which the GOP would have us believe they just
discovered last month)
Game over, man. Game over."
See what I mean? These guys are no better at seeing the writing at the wall than they are at planning and executing wars. If not for the vaccuum created in 1987 when Reagan successfully vetoed Congress's attempt to make FCC policy into law, they'd never have scared the masses into voting the GOP into power 12 years ago.
Incidentally, is it not ironic that nearly two decades after Reagan waxed libertarian via said veto the "freedom loving" (sic) GOP is wielding the FCC like a machete?
Now that the Dems are coming back into some power, perhaps the mistaken view of many foreigners -- that we are obtuse on the issue of genuine freedom -- can be corrected. It is not we, the citizens, who are so misguided on the issue of genuine freedom of speech, but rather the majority of politicians representing us for the past 12 years. The fundamentalist, sex-fearing neocon politicians, and their blind followers.
Like Icythus.
Here's an interesting read, straight from FreeTARD central.
"Montana Doesn't Look That Bad!"
At this time there are 99 responses to the original poster, who actually showed some admirable enthusiasm (or was it foolish extrapolation?). What really makes this thread interesting is following the conversation that followed. You can hear the bubble burst at post #81.
Youch!
..!..
11/08/2006 06:07:00 PM
Guess this Newsmax cover was a bit premature, huh?
Naturally, being the hypocrite he is, Allen will demand a full recount, and being the hypocrites they are, the GOP will fully support the bigot's demand.
Football-lugging, bravado-riddled, blockhead
Allen won't go down muttering Macaca. Oh no,
George of the Bungle will whimper away in true-
blue GOP fashion: blubbering Ma-wah-wah!
ROFLMAO!!!
..!..
11/08/2006 05:42:00 PM
HA!
Guess Arizonans got tired of your "Whatever it Takes" philosophy, eh fatty?
I'm lovin' it.
..!..
11/08/2006 05:40:00 PM
Webb 1,187,229 votes
Allen 1,180,396 votes
Webb wins VA Senate race by 6,833 votes.
10/20/2006 01:51:00 AM
Despite what many think about him, I happen to believe Chris Matthews is a moderate-to-liberal Democrat who purposely leans harder on liberals and Democrats than he does on those with which he tends to disagree. Maybe he wants to toughen up the left; maybe he's just a big pussy. But the truth is, when you watch him in action, you can't help but notice Matthews' red herrings, straw men, and otherwise inarguable statements disappear once the (R) guest shows up. What's worse, when the (R) is someone with half a brain, and a military background, "The Screamer" folds up into a fetal position and gives the guest a free ride.Thus, the hour-long John McCain stump speech Chris Matthews allowed to run on his Hardball (sic) program last night was an interesting watch.
Not being a neocon, and therefore not averse to considering opposing viewpoints, the political programs I find most interesting are often those that make me think. Which, as many of you know, is exactly why most of us find Sean Hannity so laughable, and the reason right wingers like Pat Buchanan, G. Gordon Liddy, and John McLaughlin are infinitely more interesting than Limbaugh, Ingraham, Weiner-Savage, and the rest.*
On Hardball (sic) last night McCain got away with flip-flopping (changed his stated opinion on gay marriage ten minutes after first expressing it), pandering to the military more than once, and weaseling his way out of actually answering a student's question about his recent, unexplained acceptance of the "revised" U.S. policy on torture.
The scary thing is McCain was able to feel out the audience, answer a couple questions in ways you'd not expect most Rapture-ublicans to do. For instance, he stated he lacks confidence in Donald Rumsfeld (interestingly, between his first, and then revamped position on gay marriage). He was therefore able to appeal to more than just the hard right. A dyed-in-the-wool politician, McCain said whatever it took to win over the crowd for which he was performing, in large part thanks to Matthews' absence from the proverbial mound from which he putatively delivers hard balls. John McCain easily came across as someone who could win much of the moderate-to-liberal vote in 2008.
But, fortunately, the GOP won't let him win that nomination. McCain's biggest obstacle will be the party to which he still belongs.
..!..
* Note that the most popular conservative radio talk shows are those with the least intellectually stimulating hosts. And the right wonders why we consider most of them dumb.
10/12/2006 05:02:00 AM
Feels great to be back.
In addition to resting & reacquainting myself with my family, I've been catching up on the headlines...
Am I to believe the Democrats are in their best pre-election position since the early 90's? Have I been gone so long I've forgotten how they tend to drop the ball, even when it's been given to them on a silver platter?
Dems take over the House, and possibly the Senate? These talking heads seem convinced.
Me - I'll believe it when I see it.
How I don't miss ye whatsoever...
More to come.
....
9/19/2006 12:25:00 AM
My summer deployment is fast coming to an end, thank Allah. Poor, pitiful me - I was getting downright inconvenienced having to communicate via this mediocre blogspot website, instead of with my own weekly-generated index pages FTP'ed onto Marc Perkel's server. On the rare occasion I've been able to access the internet - on average every six to eight weeks - I had to return to the page you're looking at, and try to generate something interesting.
And being interesting isn't easy under these circumstances. Not for the limited internet access, but because it's no picnic sounding "witty," or anything less than droning, when your summer has devolved into a droning lump of grit & numbness. The only thing you really enjoy on these Ra-forsaken trips is sleep, or, if you're lucky, reading. Which, for the fortunate few, there is time for prior to sleep.
But the reading material was shit. Or maybe I'm just picky. Couldn't find many hard sci-fi novels I'd not previously read, so about half of what I read this summer was junk. Stuff left behind by other GIs. Didn't so much mind Grisham, Demille or Connelly, but the James Patterson got old quick. At least it was free - he'd have to be for most folks, I'd think. I mean, who in the hell would pay 7 bucks for a book even George W. Bush could read in under four hours?
Even worse, I was almost forced to partake of some Robert Jordan crap, based on another GI's apparent lack of understanding when I alluded to "Hard Sci Fi." Of course, I should've expected as much from a rookie Captain (i.e. a dipshit). Maybe he thought, "well, it was hard for me to read - so it must be hard sci fi..." Fucking retard.
Anyway, the summer was probably great for my career, but not the type of thing I want to repeat anytime soon. Half a year of tax free, hazardous duty pay. Not bad. Maybe I'll get a new truck. I'll certainly be ecstatic to again be with my wife & son. It'll be huge to again plop my ass at home and enjoy the relative safety of the American backdrop. I'm looking forward to NCAA & NFL FOOTBALL, the (AL) PENANT RACE, catching up on the Sopranos, and anything else I can enjoy on my massive, HD plasma screen.
Boy oh boy oh boy oh boy....
:)
9/16/2006 09:27:00 PM
Am I just a grumpy old man, or does everything about the internet suck?
At this very moment my estimation of blogspot.com as a massive pedazo de mierda is fast solidifying.
Apparently, on blogspot.com, if you neglect your account for awhile, your blog immediately becomes a suspected spam blog, and you get a nifty "Word Verification" feature added for good measure. Can't post without first deciphering one (sometimes two) of those successions of nonsensical letters in warped font.
Pain in my dick.
So, the next time I mosey off to war, I'll be sure to make frequent stops at internet cafes -- after all, the desert is full of them -- and post more often. Gimme a fucking break.
All the more reason to look forward to getting home.
Yagshemesh.
9/14/2006 06:57:00 AM
First of all, thanks to so many who sent their regards. A couple of you asked specific questions, which I'll address when time allows for more thorough post. But for now let me thank you all; every word of encouragement means a lot to me.
Briefly, I'm in a position to post a few thoughts from time to time, via my wife and this fauxnewschannel-blogspot hybrid. Should be able to do so for awhile, and by October I hope to be back, and fully into my usual fauxnewschannel.com format.
Got a few pics to post, and a story about Senator Lindsey Graham (met him - he's a moron... as if that's any surprise to you), and even spent some quality time in Doha, Kuwait, and Bahrain.
Thinking about buying a Hooka...
Did you know that on some DoD installations in the Mid East, you can buy a Hooka? "What's a 'Hooka'?" you ask? Why it's a Bong, of course.
As in, "I wonder what that man is smoking from that enormous Hooka."
You got it. The same thing Tommy Chong went to prison for selling -- Bongs -- are legal, and for sale at any number of BX, PX, NEX, or MCX's currently operating in CENTCOM.
Incidentally, what the locals smoke from these Hookas is a largely innocuous concotion of fruits, spices, molasses, and tobacco, and generally comes in cute American-style brand-name packages, each containing a dozen or so, individually wrapped-in-plastic, Hashish-looking cubes.
Most of these pre-packaged fruit/tobacco cubes come from Egypt, and contain such a low percentage of actual tobacco that they're more a novelty than anything else. If you want a good old dose of tobacco, stick with cigarettes or snuff. The Hookas will just give you a headache.
Anyway, like I said, I'm back in computer territory, and will be able to post a few more times before wrapping things up here. Ciao.
7/06/2006 05:11:00 AM
Long time no see!
I'm fine. My guys are fine. We're halfway through our rotation, and we've been too busy to notice ten weeks have flown by.
How busy? Busier than Rush Limbaugh with a pint of Hagen Dazs. Busier than Tom DeLay's corkscrew. Busier than Sean Hannity with a new Seek-a-Word puzzle book. Busier than Bill O'Reilly with a vibrator in one hand, and a phone in the other.
I seem to spend every waking hour working; there's very little time for anything else. Which is good, because there's very little access to anything else -- can't be with my wife. Can't play with my son. Can't catch up with a friend over the phone. Can't watch baseball on the recliner.
But jam out to a good tune? That I can manage.
I don't think I ever appreciated how fine a song Smoke on the Water is until this summer. SOTW was slightly before my time - I was six or seven when Deep Purple published it - but the more I listen to it, the more I appreciate how it must have broken ground. Not lyrically, but structurally. That classic riff (imagine Beavis & Butt-head, in unison, growling, "Duh-duh-duuuuuuh . . . Duh-duh-Du-duuuuuuh . . ." is what you come away with. Not the chorus. Not the verse. A non-instrumental song with an intrumental hook. DP cast tradition aside, resisting the temptation to smother Blackmore's unforgettable riff with lyrics, and broke major ground with Smoke on the Water.
Incidentally, if you're not familiar with the story behind the song, you should look it up (sorry, can't exactly find a good reference for you under these conditions). Frank Zappa most certainly saved dozens, if not hundreds or even thousands, of lives that night. Much unlike the tragedy in Rhode Island three or four years ago -- where a hundred of so people perished because Great White were too cheap to work in a club for which the town would grant a pyrotechnic permit -- the fire that night, and the subsequent evacuation, seems to illustrate how much more mature rock icons of those days were. Maybe the reality of Vietnam and its non-volunteer draft victims woke up the youth of the day. Of course, FZ had more brain cells in his Corpus Callosum than the whole of Great White's collective gray matter, and I'm in no way saying he'd have been any less brilliant in a different era. I'm just sayin'.
Non-Sequitur Sequitur
I love how any character in The Sopranos, when talking to someone he's expected to respect, can get away with blatant insubordination so long as he tacks onto his observation the following three words: "I'm just sayin'." That's become a bit of an inside joke around here. "Sir, that was a really dumb maneuver... I'm just sayin'."
HELL
Taking a short breather at Club Med - not far from work, but much more relaxing. Civilized, even. The food is good. The toilets work. We even have AC.
Yes, it's scorching hot here. Here, 30 clicks north, 200 clicks northwest. Doesn't matter. It's all the same 50+ degrees Celsius (you figure it out), and 50 knot dust storms. We call it 50/50.
But the real hell is the internet. Actually, the lack of access to the internet is hell. I can't even access my own website (many thanks to Marc Perkel, my fearless e-leader, for hooking a brother up) at this point, but not because it's such a popular, tree-hugging e-rag. No, I cannot access my own site because within it I smartly embedded a blog, thinking I could at least blog from over here.
Wrong answer. Blogs are restricted, except as listed below. The hypocrisy within the rules governing these DoD computers is uglier than Ann Coulter's adam's apple.
Random thought: if the GOP had been running things in 1941, would WWII have been a War on Air Strikes?
More computer Woes
No, I'm not done ready to change subjects.
So far my laptop has borne this 120ยบ+ hell with honor (all hail my brave little jerkmonkey, with her magnificent battery stamina and plenitude of porn!), but as there are tons of restrictions on what a GI can access over here, I haven't exactly been inspired to do much with it.
I recently spent some time on a DoD computer, and here is a short list of sites a GI CAN and CANNOT access:
| WEBSITE | ALLOWED? Why not? | WEBSITE | ALLOWED? |
| The Liberal Oasis | NO. "Advocacy Groups" | The Paul Revere Society | YES. Depends on what is being advocated, I suppose. |
| Stephanie Miller | NO. "Pay-as-You-Go Streaming Media" | Rush Limbaugh | OF COURSE! Pay-as-you-go streaming media notwithstanding. |
| The Huffington Post | NO. "Message Boards and Clubs" | The Free (sic) Republic | YES. Of course, technically it's not a club. It's more like a gang. |
| Swimsuits Just for Us | NOT EVEN CLOSE, BUD. "Lingerie and Swimsuit;Adult Material" | G Gordon Liddy's "Stacked and Packed" Merchandise | YEP. Maybe they're getting through on an "our fans aren't adults" technicality. |
| Ebay | NEVER! "Internet Auctions;Shopping" | Bill O'Reilly's Online Store | AFFIRMATIVE. The spin stops left of here. |
| Mike Papantonio's Ring of Fire | NOPE. "Internet Radio and TV;Bandwidth PG" | FOX News video of Gingrich interviewed by Shemp Hannity | OF COURSE. |
| FAIR.org | NO. "Advocacy Groups" | Newsbusters | YES. Advocacy Shmadvocacy. |
| My blog | NO. "Personal Web Sites;Blogs" | Any dumbass, right-wing soldier's blog | YES. "Christ beat death like hitting an 8 penny nail "... |
| Daily Kos | NEIN! "Web Hosting;Information Technology" (What?) | PowerLine | OH YEAH. Anyone |
| Marc Perkel's Blog | ARE YOU KIDDING? "Personal Web Sites;Blogs" | Little Green Footballs | YEP. If this shit isn't someone's personal site, someone's getting ripped off. |
Just a decade ago you were lucky to get one American TV and radio station in Germany, or South Korea for instance. But now you can watch a handful of themed TV stations (sports, kids, movies, news, etc.), and listen to three or four radio stations in some locales. In fact, a recent study by Lund Media Research showed that most GIs are neither fond of Rush Limbaugh, nor fans of country music. (That's right!) In fact, I seriously doubt as many of us are as fond of Faux News as Faux News would like the civilian population to think.
Nevertheless, FNC constitutes a big chunk of what the DoD has programmed into its news-themed AFRTS TV station. No surprise the DoD gives us what they want us to get, and not what we want. But the odd thing about the blatant FOX News/DoD alliance is what happens during FNC's commercial segments.
Normally, we don't get commercials. DoD Regulation 5120.20R prohibits AFRTS from airing commercials. So we're subjected to a series of 60-second long propaganda bits. Corny, DoD-generated "golly gee" crap. How to make a PCS (moving your family to a new assignment) run smoothly, why it's dangerous to discuss sensitive information on unsecure phone lines, a scrap of trivia about General MacArthur, etc. This regularly-scheduled brainwashing occurs for all programming. Even on the news-themed AFRTS TV station.
Except when they show FOX News. During the 23 hours a day AFRTS' news network airs FNC programming (that might be somewhat exaggerated), we don't get the standard DoD brainwashing crap; we get... more FOX News.
FOX News has built its own repertoire of putatively non-commercial spots to fill the spaces normally occupied by the AFRTS Brain Detergent. The problem is, as I see it, these FNC-generated "golly gee" breaks are all subtly commercial in nature. At least the couple I've seen here in Club Med.
One spot presents basic guidelines for those who wear contact lenses. Don't sleep in them, wash them with this, don't wash them with that. And so forth. But during its presentation we're shown a lab where contact lens cleaner and contact lenses themselves are made. Obviously it's okay to endorse commercial products on a DoD broadcast if you shroud your endorsement in a we really care public service announcement. Oh, and don't spend too much time on that Bausch & Lomb logo...
I need one of the big dog bloggers to expose this crap. I'm not going to be at this particular spot much longer, and as you know my internet access is shakier than Karl Rove's sexuality, so I'm afraid I won't be much help (although, again, I have to hand it Perkel - I can't check my Yahoo email account, or my GMail, but I can sure as hell check my Perkel email! Email me if you learn anything more on this BS!)
Must for to go now, amigos. Hope to return before another month expires. In the meantime, keep advocatin'.
6/03/2006 07:24:00 PM
Like most deployed G.I.'s, I get tons of "care packages," letters, and cards from family and friends. But this time around I'm also getting some goodies from my fans. You guys have been sending me all the news I can't access on these #$^@ DOD-run computers, and I'm lovin' every minute of it. Keep 'em comin'!
"Y'ain't got no shoulders!"
If that phrase doesn't mean much to you, and
you're a military guy, I'd have to question your
manhood. Just fuckin' with you, sailor. Chillax.
I see Billow LIEly is at it again. What a delusional clown that little man is, and Faux News is all about re-writing history in another attempt to salvage the "man"'s already dubious credibility. LOL!
And the administration is planning to introduce anti-gay marriage legislation this Monday. Glad to see we've all got our priorities straight. Thank Koresh, because I really think I could lose my wife if homosexuals started marryin' up and all.
Speaking of developing homophobia-related stories, if one of you really wanted to get on my good side, you could send me the last four episodes of The Sopranos. I'm dying to see more of the Vito/Johnny Cakes saga unfold.
Another reader sent me a link to what I assume is a video parody of Katherine Harris election ad. Can't open it, but the guy told me it's goddammed hilarious, so if you're interested, here it is.
I've been toying with the idea of starting a progressive/liberal military blogring. Probably one already exists, but if not I'm all about that. There are lots more of us than you might expect, and when carefully prepared these diaries are just as legal as those from Captain Micropenis, Mr. Badass Soldier, Mountainous Marine Man, and whatever else gay-ass names these penis-envy suffering hardcore rightwingers call themselves.
Is Uncle Sam reading my blog?
You bet your ass they are. Bring it on, I say. Pssht.
Well ma'ams and sirs, I must oil my weapon (hee) and sock my boots (keeps out the camel spiders). Talk at you later.
....
5/29/2006 10:30:00 PM
"Conservative Political Correctness"?
Rump Leakage et al have made quite a living whining about the inability of the "politically incorrect" to fit in among various groups of "elitists." Clearly, Pigboy and his lemmings are referring to the complex interpersonal relationships and bids for power definition of politics when they bitch and moan about political correctness.
And so it's no wonder people often sloppily interpret the term "political correctness" to mean "stuff that might not go over too well with a progressive audience." But isn't it possible to be politically incorrect among conservative folks? You know, proclaiming "There is no god!" in Church, "the largest socialist organization in the world is the U.S. Army," or "Ronald Reagan was a delusional old bag of wind" at your local yacht club?
As expected, in the military world there is an entirely different breed of political correctness. Whether you're a green beret, or a paralegal pencil pusher, in the service it's literally politically correct to be, in the sloppily-construed Limbaugh vernacular, politically incorrect.
Yet we G.I.s are taught to be, once again in the Limbaugh vein of thinking, "politically correct." Annually we're required to attend classes like sexual harrassment training (it's called 'Sexual Assault Awareness Training' nowadays), Equal Opportunity Awareness training, and even a "don't ask, don't tell" briefing. On paper we're as progressive as Sweden; in the field we're as crude as the cast of Debbie Does Dallas. Our young, impressionable minds are being taught two, diametrically opposed viewpoints. And you can bet your ass it's having an effect on discipline.
In the 1990s it was easy to discipline a young troop who called another one a "N**ger," or grabbed a young female corporal's ass in the hallway. But these days we're losing ground in this area. Granted, there aren't any American women in my current neck of the woods, but this isn't something I've just noticed over the past 30 days. This flip-flop mentoring of our military youth isn't restricted to the war zone. Worldwide there's a scary trend of NCOs, SNCOs, WOs, and even Jr. Officers looking the other way as FNGs emulate their leaders, many of the same NCOs, SNCOs, and Officers. Guys who long ago ditched the standards of decency and etiquette by which we are regularly reminded to abide.
In the end the current rabid trend of neoconfoolery among military types will do what every other manifestation of neoconnery does: overdose on its own excesses. It's a greedy mindset, and it shall consume itself.
Call me naive, but I sincerely believe the next Bill Clinton administration won't be rejected by military leadership; it'll be greeted by most of our level-headed superiors as a welcome return to our collective senses.
Military Bloggers: Slow Down, Stop Showing Your Ass, and Try Reading as Much as You Write.
One thing currently bothering me is the thousands of highly visible, ultra-right wing military bloggers who have managed to convince the rest of the world our armed forces consist of nothing more than neocon-anderthal double-digit IQ midgets.
Consider the airman who calls himself "Greyhawk," and owns mudvillegazette.com. In this archived rant, putatively critical of American complacency, "Greyhawk" (what a cool name... Anglicized, er, Anglicised spelling and everything!) marvels at the fact most people think Dr. Strangelove is a work of fiction, "a parody even."
No, he's not being satirical himself; he's dead serious. He even provides a reference: this bit of commentary by James Earl Jones.
 |
| "I said what?" |
Good luck figuring out which part of "Kubrick was a prickly character," "Scott & I disagreed about the Vietnam war," and "let's make sure terrorists don't get ahold of renegade nukes" substantiates Greyhawk's claim.
Kerry Fights Back
Is this a joke?
Excuse me, Mr. Pussy, but couldn't you just go away? If you had fought back when it counted, maybe we'd have a few more thousand healthy American G.I.s, fewer nascent terrorist-to-be's, and a more stable Iraq on our hands.
Then again, would such a pushover really be an improvement over what we got now?
..!..
5/25/2006 09:47:00 PM
Boy, oh boy, did I ever misunderestimate the access I'd have to this blog while deployed. At this rate I figure I'll spend about 15 to 20 days on the line, and one back "home," catching up on sleep.
Don't confuse my observations here as whining; this is my chosen career, I love what I do, and the people who work for me (though not necessarily those I work for), and my family's not exactly living on food stamps.
But the point I want to make to my (four) loyal readers is this: my site's not sitting stagnant for weeks at a time because I'm blowing you guys off; it's just that I have so little time for even something so simple as a blog. Hell, I can't even access all the stuff I usually check out before preparing an update to my page.
For an idea of what I'm referring to, check out this article. It's 100% accurate, & really sums up the current atmosphere.
On many "public" computers owned and operated by the DOD -- not the ones for official use; the ones we're provided for personal use in our off-time (sic) -- I can access freerepublic.com or drudgereport.com, but not Stephanie Miller, The Liberal Oasis, or The Democratic Underground.
For the past couple of decades (and probably more, but I can only speak to my personal experience) approximately 75% of military folks have been conservative Republicans. That number is dropping these days, but even if it were to rise to 99%, there's a nasty trend among many DOD-run "internet cafes" that will inevitably backfire.
When the next Bill Clinton takes office, and we go into the next Bosnia under his or her direction, you fellow progressives just might be pleasantly surprised how the current disparity in allowed-vs-prohibited internet access will become a hot topic. If folks like me have anything to say about it, you'll see even more about the fact AFN (formerly AFRTS, pronounced A-FARTS) plays Limbaugh's trash, but no left counterpart to the Pigboy. (Thanks to Al Franken and Tom Harkin, this lack of balance has been a story for a couple years already.)
Anyway, for obvious reasons I'm not exactly on top of what's happening back in the states. Of course, you guys know all this, but after two and a half weeks in the shit, it's nice to open up Google News and others like it, and learn that
- George Bush's approval rating is below 30% (WOW)
- Rove hasn't been indicted (yet)
- Tom DeLay has stupidly referenced one of Stephen Colbert's faux rants as "proof" for one of his inane stances (fucking hilarious, that one)
- Hastert is under investigation (LOL) in the Jack Abramoff scandal
Et cetera. The GOP is still slipping into a political black hole; things haven't changed much in the month since I arrived. I'm loving it.
Oh, and the Jimmy Hoffa thing. Some day soon I'll tell you where his body really is. ;)
Anyway, I apologize for not being able to give you guys any graphic details of my current surroundings (I'm no Benedict Rove), but I can tell you we are all mentally well, physically well, well-tanned (okay, sunburnt), and goddamned fuckin'-a busy.
..!..
5/15/2006 01:51:00 AM
First of all, I am well, and we are well. Long gone are the comfy moments in Kuwait City; I'm nowhere near such a relative bastion of modernity.
traitor Karl Rove. But I can tell you the revelation I'm not some unemployed tree-hugging Vermonter high on 'shrooms, living off the government penny (well, that's debatable), but in fact am a senior member of the armed forces has really gotten under the skin of quite a few colorful characters.
So, with nothing else valuable to throw in at this point, I thought I'd take a moment to entertain you with the ramblings of one such wrapped-too-tight asshole. Behold the warrant officer (sic).
Some CWO, or some such similarly useless bag of shit, emailed me about my current status, cited me for "sedition" (ho! I eat CWOs for lunch - this guy'd be fun). Allow me to take take this opportunity to emulate my hero, the great Bartcop, and submit my first ever "Monkey Mail" entry.
Enjoy!
"Hey, I read your blog. Sorry you're deployed again. But check this out. If you don't like it, Get the F*** out. I am so sick of working with folks sucking down the combat pay and badmouthing the administration every step of the way."
First of all, you, yourself, admit you work with folks who "badmouth the administration," and judging by the fact you're so "tired" of it, I'd venture to say it happens a lot. Ya think this might mean something? Can you remember a GOP administration being so unpopular among military folk?
Secondly, I'm "sucking down combat pay" so jerkoffs like you can enjoy safer skies in which to spend your whopping three-hour hops, corraling folks in and out of the places I permanently occupy.
Third, it's "FUCK," not "F***." Believe me, o brainwashed fool, you will not go to hell if you type out the word "FUCK."
"Please tell me you are not in charge of troops with your screwed up attitude. (I'm praying maybe you're a shop supervisor with a very small section)"
My guys love me, and I've got nearly a hundred of them. Next question?
"I'm working on year 30 and getting ready to deploy the fourth time in four years. I'm proud to know our contributions are keeping your pretty little family there safe. If you don't believe in the mission (from there in dangerous Kuwait) then just do us a favor and get out."
I'm sure your "if you don't believe in the mission" shtick was silenced during Kosovo; all you neocons were pissed Bill Clinton oversaw such a successful operation. So stick the pretense where the sun don't shine, bud. And Kuwait was just a stop; a chance to blog for awhile before pushing out. Try reading it again: "hurry up an wait" was the played-on phrase.
Shit man, I wish I was in Kuwait.
"PS Your parody web site is probably the most sophomoric attempt at humor I ever seen. Here's a hint. If you want to be funny, try to be clever or ironic or maybe try having your kid do your graphics. But then that's how you libs are aren't you. You whine and decry the 'mean-spirited' conservatives, but in your little rat holes where you don't think anyone can see, you demonstrate what hypocritical name-calling buffoons you all are."
Uh, you're the one whining here, chief. I'm minding my own business. No one forced you to point your mouse to my site and read it. I'm just keeping my creative self alive, and you - obviously without imagination or the ability to put your own material together - feel the need to vent on a complete stranger.
"Also, Are you familiar with the term, 'sedition'?"
Ha! Obviously you've spent thirty years not learning a thing but how to point a stick and mash a button. Go out and read a little more than your flight manual sometime.
Think about it: if you're "sick of working with folks badmouthing the administration," it's not them. It's you.
Maybe you just need to get the FUCK out.
